The Callous Daoboys Announce New Album "I Don’t Want to See You in Heaven"

Let me set the scene for ya: It’s 2 AM, I’ve had too much coffee, and I’m staring at my laptop like it owes me money. Somewhere in Atlanta, The Callous Daoboys are probably plotting their next auditory crime, gearing up to unleash I Don’t Want to See You in Heaven on May 16 via MNRK Heavy. A bold title. A challenge, even. But after experiencing their previous works—a chaotic mathcore exorcism that feels like getting mugged by a jazz band—I’m inclined to believe them.

They didn’t just drop one single to promote this upcoming record. No, that would be too predictable. Instead, they threw out two: “Two-Headed Trout” and “The Demon of Unreality Limping Like a Dog”—both of which sound like things I’d scream after a fever-induced nightmare. And because these lunatics can’t simply release a music video like normal people, they stitched them together into a ten-minute cinematic experience, like a horror short film made entirely out of distorted guitars, time signature abuse, and a man shouting at you from a moving vehicle.

A Museum of Failure (or Just Another Night Out in Atlanta?)

Frontman Carson Pace describes the album as some sort of historical artifact, a failed experiment preserved for future generations to gawk at. He even calls it a “Museum of Failure”, which is ironic, considering that’s what I call my credit score.

“Everything is very singular and personal. I’m not making an album commenting on anything societal or political this time, this is an album just for me.”

Good. The last thing we need is another pseudo-intellectual breakdown of late-stage capitalism disguised as a breakdown-heavy hardcore record. No, this is personal. This is the sound of one man losing his grip on reality and recording it for the rest of us to endure. He claims it’s a scrapbook of everything he’s felt since 2021, which makes me wonder if he’s been locked in an experimental sound lab, getting blasted with dissonant riffs and screaming into a microphone while scientists in lab coats take notes.

Preorder It Now, or Wait for the AI-Generated Remaster in 2075

The album is up for preorder, and you should probably buy it, if only to keep these guys from having to take up normal jobs, which would certainly result in at least one workplace accident.

They’re also hitting the road with Silverstein, Thursday, Bloom, Chiodos, Hawthorne Heights, and Emmure, because why not cram every possible genre of emotional distress into one tour? Expect walls of death, emotional breakdowns (on and off stage), and at least one guy in the crowd getting clocked for moshing too aggressively during a Hawthorne Heights song.

Tracklist – AKA, a Psychological Profile of a Man Unraveling

1. I. Collection of Forgotten Dreams
2. Schizophrenia Legacy
3. Full Moon Guidance
4. Two-Headed Trout
5. Tears on Lambo Leather (feat. Orthodox)
6. Lemon
7. Body Horror For Birds (feat. 1st VOWS)
8. The Demon of Unreality Limping Like A Dog
9. Idiot Temptation Force
10. Douchebag Safari
11. Distracted by the Mona Lisa
12. II. Opt Out
13. III. Country Song In Reverse (feat. low before the breeze)

Some of these sound like song titles. Others sound like the names of unfinished David Lynch scripts. Either way, I’m intrigued.

So will I Don’t Want to See You in Heaven be a mathcore masterpiece or an abstract psychological attack disguised as an album? I don’t know. But I do know one thing: You’re not ready.

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